Urgent! Dump The Average Zeros For Support Heroes
If you haven’t already, go back and read I Believe Your Lies: Reasons I Am Worthless and 8 Ways You Can Learn To Love And Accept Yourself Again.
Here are ways you can learn to love and accept yourself again, part 2.
When you surround yourself with people who genuinely like and support you, they should at some point mention some of your positive qualities. Train yourself to hear what they have to say, don’t just try to minimize it or brush it off. You did something that made your friend share how they are proud of you, think you’ve done something great or like something about you – don’t let that sentiment go to waste. Use it learn to love yourself again, listen, and take notes.
When it comes to relationships, we are greatly influenced–whether we like it or not—by the people that are closest to us. Our thinking, the way we make decisions, and our self-concept are all impacted. That means negative and positive are contagious.
The problem is most of us are surrounded by more negative than positive, or at least not enough positive. I was surrounded by negativity for a long time, and until I escaped those relationships I didn’t realize the impact it had on my views. I am ambitious and a dreamer. I think it’s possible to have a life outside of following the system of working an 8 to 5 job, saving up for a life of retirement. I also think time is more important than money, people shouldn’t live paycheck to paycheck due to spending what they make, and that higher education and living debt-free is important. My views were of the minority in my circle of relationships. I was surrounded by destructive people who made poor decisions, spent more than they earned, never took action, and always complained. I like to call them Average Zeros. And for a while I fell into the trap of not being a person of action and at looking at myself and my surroundings negatively.
Don't be afraid to lose friends, support from your family, or anything else if that means you start surrounding yourself with the right people. Instead of becoming the average of some average people, surround yourself with the best. If you spend too much time around people who are constantly complaining but allowing themselves to stay stuck, and who have no aspirations, then it will end up draining your energy and your confidence – like it did me.
I traded in my relationships for support heroes. My support heroes are people who support me (hence the name), who push positivity into my life, but who also push me to become a better version of myself. They are the ones whose encouragement sings in my ears when I have self-loathing thoughts. Because their words help mine have strength and create a chorus every time I need to learn to love myself again: : you can do this, you are beautiful, there is hope, there is more than anger, you are powerful, you are whole, you are free, you are safe, you are not alone.
Learning to love yourself again starts internally. But it is also perpetuated by surrounding yourself with people who see your value and remind you of it.